why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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