You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
