It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
