Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm like, not good at living.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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