and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
