We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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