is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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