Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize