were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
