You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
