none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
There r osticjed everywhere
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
