You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
