im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
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