Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
