Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I can't turn off my feet"
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Randomize
