Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
