apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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