he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
What changed your mind?
Being sober
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
