He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
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We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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