goodnight i made you a song goodbye
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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