if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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