told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
