yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
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If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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