it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
