i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
