So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
