Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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