ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
