Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Found your dick twin last night
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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