is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
