I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Randomize
