like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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