Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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