I am puke
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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