is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
These tits shall not be calmed
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
