At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
