i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I think i got beer on your cat.
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