Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
