im having a threesome with these popsicles
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
