Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
