I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
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