I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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