Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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