they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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