He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
