Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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