Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
