im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
