My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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