He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
