Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
