i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
