I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Terrible idea I love it
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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