i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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