oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
