i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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