just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
