Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
