You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
