Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I think your dad took our porno
The struggles of a small town man whore
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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