oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
