I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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