The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
