this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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