i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
where does the pee come out of this thing
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
