I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
